Update: The past two months were horrible… I know I sound like I always rant, but I’m not going to lie, it was just plain horrible. I don’t even have other words to describe or explain how distressed I was. But I’m starting to realize everything, slowly… One step at a time.
I’ve slacked way too much. Up to the point where my grades don’t even look like grades… They seem as Japanese letters or something… It’s not even in my lexicon. Not only that, I’ve been losing connections with my friends at school and church… I don’t know what’s been going in my head, but everything definitely came out and didn’t stay in.
I had yet another break down yesterday. I couldn’t find one of the most important papers of my high school year but God mercifully helped me find it… I can’t believe He still blessed me after all I’ve done and NOT done… I don’t deserve… I don’t think I ever will… But I’m truly grateful, I need to start shaping up again… I want to return to my previous mind-set… Apart from the world… What’s going on with me?
I blame myself for this. For not being able to prioritize correctly nor being able to manage my time wisely. Ever since the end of Summer… Some things shouldn’t have happened.
I hate all this anger and frustration just boiling inside me… I need this break, retreat… I really do. I need to get away from all the people and places here… I need to reconnect with God again… the signal doesn’t seem to be so good over here…
Currently listening to Love Like Woe by The Ready Set
