Update: Now that I’m pretty sure my WordPress is viewed less than before, I feel more comfortable writing a letter to someone. What I am about to write are my true feelings and don’t worry, my view for you hasn’t change… I think.
hehe. P.s. As a side note, I’d like to thank DK! Most people at school call me Kay now! I love that short, simple, name. Thanks thanks.
I think I’ve stated this before but one of my favorite oppas told me he would cease to talk to me after I entered college. He “knew” that I would change… He assumed that I would end up partying and drinking… end up cursing and turning out like him… Thanks oppa. Your care for me has helped me grown into a stronger person… but oppa, I promise you, I won’t turn out like that… I know college and high school are totally different… But oppa, I’m different too. We all are, and I hope to prove to you that I won’t be what you expect me to turn out as. I’ll still be your dongsang. The little noob who doesn’t understand half of your street talk… who hasn’t experienced half the experiences you have… the friend who’ll keep her promise. Really. Besides, I’m being influenced enough here already and I’m totally clean. I don’t think that the increased amount of people doing the same things would impact me… I hope. But after this event… I’m scared. Honestly. I’m afraid to go to college. I don’t want to go… Oppa, I miss you. I really hope to see you before I leave to college. Much love. Thank you so much for being frank with me.
With that said… Here goes my small note to a friend…
Dear you,
It’s been a very long time since we talked. I have so much I would love to tell you as a person. There are many confessions and secrets I intended to let you know… but because of my weak self I held it inside me. Now you’re gone… temporarily. At least out of my sight and reach… I know we will see each other again, soon I’m hoping but… I hope that when I do see you again, you would be the same. The same person who gave me butterflies every time I saw you. The same person who would encourage me regardless of my hopeless complaining and situations. The same person who would listen to my rantings and advise me. And honestly, you were too kind to me, I wish I could atone you and wish that you would forgive me for many things… We got close too fast and apart even quicker. I know that you haven’t changed but your “actions” have… I don’t see you any different because inside I know you’re still, you.
And to be candid, yes, I am quite disappointed. You told me confidently that you weren’t the type of person who would follow the crowd; but look at you now… you’re not following the crowd… you are the crowd… at least a part of it.
I wonder how I would turn out to be in college… Would I be part of that typical crowd of this typical society?
Currently listening to 여우비 by J-Walk.
